Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Foster Care

Ever since I was pregnant with Will, I knew that we would be foster parents at some point. About 2 years ago, Scott agreed. Lately it's been on my mind a lot more than usual. It would be really hard to do right now, but I wasn't sure if this was something that I really needed to act on, or if it was just me. So last night we went to the County Foster Care orientation. Aaron & Rachel watched our kids, which was great. It was a very interesting meeting, and we both feel sure that we will in the future foster kids, but not now. Scott is working and in school full time, and our kids are very young. And our house is pretty small. So we decided we'll go to another foster orientation when Scott's done with school (about 2 years) and see how things look then. Some stuff:

--One good thing about having your first kid when you're 20/21 is that you're still real young when those kids are grown up. Especially around here, having little kids at 40 is no big deal.
--It's actually bad when abuse gets so bad that the child confesses it themselves--if a teacher reports it, there's an outside source of blame for their life & family being torn apart. But if they report it, they blame themselves, minimize the abuse, and live in "what ifs."
--We're not going into this with the plan to adopt any children. However, that being said, if a child we had became legally free, we would definitely consider it.
--There are little kids out there, who are neglected and abused and given alcohol and drugs while they are still in their Momma's tummies, and it's terrible. We're not perfect parents. We already have a lot of kids, and life is just absolutely crazy. But we love each other, and love our kids, (and pretty much all kids) and we can at least give hurting children a safe place, where they will be loved and smiled at and hugged and tickled and have books read to them every day.
--Whenever this actually happens, I will tell you now that we'll need lots of help and understanding and prayers. And probably lots of extra ice cream. Just sayin'.

They played this video in the class. It's not R-rated, but you probably shouldn't watch it with your kids. Basically the lady said that if you can model kind and loving behavior, and an appropriate relationship between a couple, you will do a huge amount of good for these traumatized kids. Obviously there needs to be more than that, but even just that basic "good example" will go a VERY long way. I guess that's true for everyone though, not just abused children.


  1. I think you guys would make great foster parents! Thanks for sharing about this. Have you read Little Men by Louisa May Alcott? What am I saying, you read a gazillion more books than me, I'm sure you have. Anyway, makes me think about the same thing.

  2. i agree with hilary..u guys make great foster parents!!! and i agree that my life right now is a little too crazy but when u start having kiddies young, you will have plenty of time to foster other kids later =)