Saturday, May 22, 2010

New Blog!

Evaline, 16 months

I've been considering a new blog for a while now, and thought I'd finally give it a try. Mostly just because Xanga requires people to have a Xanga account to leave comments or subscribe, which seems a little silly. So, we'll see how this goes. I'll have to figure out if there's a way to transfer all my old stuff to this, though, because there is a TON of stuff on my old Xanga from the last several years that I don't want to lose.

We go in on Tuesday to have our big ultrasound and found out if #4 is a boy or a girl! We're really excited. I'm also a little anxious, because part of me is worried that there might be a problem. When we first thought I was miscarrying, everyone tried to make me feel better by saying that miscarriages happen because there is something wrong with the baby, and it's not anyone's fault, it's just that the baby has such problems that they wouldn't be able to live. Well, if you almost miscarry, but don't, does that mean that there are some pretty bad problems, but not so bad that the baby can't live? I mean, we've all seen people who were born with some pretty awful disabilities, and not all of those were caused by drugs; sometimes they just happen. I'm hoping that my problems were caused by the fact that we moved a million super heavy things in the first few weeks, and that things will be OK. But honestly, until I see that all parts are present on the ultrasound screen, I'll be a little worried.

Also baby-related, I've been SUPER tired the last few weeks, and just the last 1-2 weeks I've been super nauseous again, like I was in the first trimester. I'm 19 1/2 weeks, and my tummy was feeling normal for the last 5 weeks or so, then just started acting up again. I told Scott I'm like that crazy impossible girl from a few months ago that said she got pregnant, then two months later got pregnant again and had "twins" in her belly at the same time. I know it's not scientifically possible, but it would be way cooler than, "oh well, you're jut going to be sick and exhausted for the next 5 months! have fun!"

One thing that I've been thinking a lot about is "big families." We're definitely starting to get up there now. I think most people are just surprised at how young I am when I tell them that this isn't my first, it's my fourth, but a lot of people say things like, "you're pregnant AGAIN?" "you're having ANOTHER baby?" and "Wow, you're brave, 4 is an awful lot of kids...." Maybe it's just my perception, but it always makes me a little sad. It's very rare that someone says "Congratulations!" or seems happy for me. Although every once in a while someone will say something nice. An old man at the post office a while ago said, "You have a beautiful family!" and gave me a very kind smile, which really made my day. Anyway, I know most people nowadays rarely even have three kids, and most not when they're our age, and most not only 2 years apart. But we're happy with our decisions, and happy with our family, and I just wish people wouldn't judge and would try to be happy for me. Also, those kind of comments always make me feel like the person thinks I'm a bad parent and shouldn't have any more kids. I think I've complained about this before...

I tried to get some new maternity jeans this week, because my previous pairs have all been worn to death. But I hate the kind that has that huge elastic thing that comes up over your belly, and for some reason all stores only have those or the normal kind in a really DARK color. I did find some I liked at Gap, although they were $70 so I didn't even try them on, because that's just ridiculous. Old Navy has very little maternity stuff now, but I'm thinking they might have more online. I really need to find something though, because my regular-type jeans barely fit with the button done, and it's still too cold for sandolios and the maternity capris I have.

I'm feeling a lot of fluttery baby movements, which are a lot of fun! I feel them most when I first get into bed, because the rest of the time everything is loud and distracting. But I m starting to feel a little more movement during the day, too. That's one of my favorite parts of being pregnant--getting to feel that there's a real baby in there that moves and feels and is really THERE!